Today, went to tiong Bahru and within an hour, I was out.
Yup, happy days. Rain and all. We can't choose.
So, Dom asked me out midway. Shmeer msg me, most probably just remembered that I worked tomorrow. And yes, its going on, (note to self: Monday)
So, went to watch Christmas Carol in 3D. Found it totally totally AWESOME. Like really. Awesomeness. Storyline, everyone knows about it. So nothing new.
Oh, and before I went to Tiong Bahru, I was reading up on Alice in Wonderland. Found that everythings mad in there. Good horror, no wonder there's a few movies based on it that makes it look really scary. Power of the imagination.
Okay, I'll stop being superficial now. Period.
On the way back home from Esplanade, (we walked from Dhoby Ghaut to Marina area, down to fullerton and back to the bus stop at Esplanade) I suddenly remembered how tragic this year was for my family.
Looking back, we had to endure much emotional stuff. Firstly was the shock death of my Granduncle (may his soul find peace), of a probable heart attack. Looking back at all the conversations we had, all the trips we've made together and the jokes we shared. I realized how a person can affect you that much. The strength of a presence and the power of words that made me realize its never too late to be kind to others for as they will always be kind to you. Even so, I remember fondly of his room and the vintage items he shared with all of us. The advices he dispensed whenever I was feeling down, he always had a knack of sensing our emotions and to give out useful advices at the time of need.
Then barely a week after, my paternal Grandma passed on, it was a quiet affair, but still I missed her so. The way she calls my name and how my dad retorts me whenever I don't reply her appropriately. Like, "Ummmm.. nek." And dad will be like, "Oi, can you say "Saya" or not?" (Saya being a polite and respectful form of "Yes") then I will be "Saya nek...". These little things that made me who I am now. And the way she used to keep talking about the past, the TV shows she's always watching and all the trips to Geylang Serai she made. I will always remember watching her looking out for my cousin and I when we were in Malacca. Of all the trips and all the hugs and kisses I'll get from her.
But still for both funerals I attended I didnt shed a tear. I remembered the moment I heard the news of her passing, I was at the call centre working. And there was this old lady who talked to me with the exact same tone that I thought it was nenek. She was ordering pizzas for her grandchildren and she was talking to me about all the tv shows she was watching. I believed I was talking to her but I didnt realize that I was crying while doing so. She was excited about a soccer match that I was laughing and crying at the same time. We talked for a full half hour when I realized it was too much for me. I went to the lounge to take a break.
As for my granduncle, I remembered him saying, "Don't be sad all the time, you are young and still have a full life ahead of you. Enjoy but always remember your parents when you're old dont make them sad for even once."
With both close to my heart, I felt a sense of regret that I couldn't have spent more time with them when they were still alive. I didnt have the chance to say goodbye or rather a fitting last look. I felt numb that only now I feel it. Only now do I know how time dont always makes you forget and how with only now that my tears start to flow as I'm writing this.
Its not always about me or you. Its about gaining a loss. And losing a company forever.
Its not easy, it never was and it will never be.
If I died tomorrow, how will I be remembered?
-End-
